Accidental Abduction by Eve Langlais
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I actually read this book a few months ago so my impressions are not as fresh. But overall I enjoyed this book by Eve Langlais way more than her cyborg series.
Interestingly, she plays the rape-threat card early and often, but unlike in the cyborg series, no one really cares. It’s like watching an action movie where hundreds of people get shot but you don’t see a single drop of blood. I like those “clean” violent action movies (*Commando* with Arnold Schwartzenneger has to have the highest body count to the lowest amount of actual blood) and this was like the book version of that.
The heroine starts out incredibly annoying. It took me weeks to get through the first two pages. She’s a “snarky” BBW whose smart mouth isn’t matched by an equally smart brain. She needs a strong partner that won’t smack her around, but her most recent choice pushes her off a yacht to drown. She’s then accidentally abducted by a purple alien Han Solo, who is the scariest bounty hunter in the universe, and coincidentally, fits her bill.
Here is where things got fun, and I read the whole thing without putting it down again.
The heroine whines and complains and runs from the hero and then throws herself at him. He deals with this mother-of-all-bipolar-women behavior by threatening to sell her off as a sex slave to the highest bidder. She tells him, “Oh sure, that’s just like a man.” Luckily, they both get off on a good grudge f*ck, so the rest of the book is them figuring out how to insult each other until they’re both furious and then get off.
Did I mention this is erotica?
There’s some plot about sibling rivalry, more kidnappings, and an evil intergalactic lord who wants to force the hero to work for him. It’s pretty dramatic and fun, but it’s all secondary to the sex.
The only thing that bothered me about the heroine (after page three) is that it says she’s a computer programmer as a day job. She’s also rich enough to have a yacht and men are apparently murdering her for her money. Oh, and she’s a loner, with no real friends. I guess she has a lot of problems. But the only one that really struck me was the mention of her computer programming job.
I kept wondering what company would hire her. She shows absolutely zero interest in learning anything about how the ship operates. A real computer programmer would at least show a tiny interest in the technology. She also makes zero puns. Fluency in puns is like fluency in coding skills. It’s requisite for all computer programmers. Even if you don’t like them yourself, you can’t not see the puns all around you. I blame programming books that teach you how to program by combining phrases containing “foo” and “bar”. Anyway, I didn’t buy this career thing at all, and I thought she was lying for some reason (to herself?).
But as I said before, anything not related to sex is pretty secondary, so it wasn’t like this was an important plot point or anything. It just mildly bothered me.
The next book starts with the hero’s brother chained to a woman’s bed. It looks like just as much fun. If you like this book, I suspect you will like the next ones too.